


Harry Hart is a shitty cook (but an okay princess)

by elletromil



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 12:25:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4391783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elletromil/pseuds/elletromil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It might come as a surprise to some, but Harry Hart was and always had been utterly useless in a kitchen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Harry Hart is a shitty cook (but an okay princess)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Inclinant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inclinant/gifts).



> So a month ago secondarysushicorps was saying something about having read too much angst on ao3 and being who I am I proposed to write her some fluff and she gave me the prompt of Harry having misadventures in the kitchen while Eggsy was playing with Daisy. It took wayyyy longer than I expected, but well, life happens (aka moving, the kingsman bang, problems with internet company blablabla).
> 
> So yeah, this is some pointless and plotless domestic fluff and I hope it was at least a bit like you wanted Kallie <3

It might come as a surprise to some, but Harry Hart was and always had been utterly useless in a kitchen. He could make toast and cook some bacon and eggs with success seven times out of ten, but anything else was beyond his capacity. He had tried of course, because it was a valuable skill for anyone to master, but disastrous attempts after more disastrous attempts, he had finally come to the conclusion that there was nothing wrong to either a) go to a restaurant or b) order in if he couldn’t be bothered to leave the comfort of his house. Others might have felt bad that most of their budget went into restaurant but it wasn’t like Harry had very many things to do with the money he had in his bank account, what with his work at Kingsman taking so much of his time and having no family to speak of (his mother was still alive and would probably outlived him by decades out of sheer stubbornness, but she did not need her son’s financial support any more than he needed hers.)

All of this meant that Harry was the first surprised to currently be standing in his own kitchen in the middle of the day. Well, it wasn’t so much that he was in his kitchen, but rather that he was attempting to make something more than mere toast. But Eggsy and he were having one of their rare off day together and even more exceptional, they had Daisy with them for the day and the siblings had been so cute playing at having tea together that Harry hadn’t had the heart to tell Eggsy he couldn’t cook to save his life.

Anyway, it wasn’t as if he was trying to make a five course meal or anything, he could probably make some sandwich or something without difficulty. He had never attempted to, mind you, but he was sure it wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be. He had watched Eggsy the few times they had had a light lunch in, the boy delighting in using a kitchen so well furnished (Harry might be a shitty cook, but most of his friends were not and could be coerced into making a meal if Harry plied them with enough alcohol) and always managing to turn everything he made into some miraculous ambrosia. It had seemed easy enough and surely the motivation provided by Daisy’s presence would be enough to power him through his trial.

Harry Hart was not often wrong, but when he was, he was always spectacularly so.

*

Eggsy hadn’t think anything of it when Harry had declared that he was going to prepare them some lunch. It was true Eggsy was usually the one to cook when they were both home if they didn’t went out, but as he truly enjoyed himself in the kitchen, he had never really lost any thoughts as to why Harry had never brought it up and seemed perfectly happy to be on dirty dishes duty.

So maybe he should have been more surprised when the man had left in the direction of the kitchen, but it had been so long since the last time he had had the chance to spend an entire day with Daisy that he had barely made a noise of acknowledgement at his departure from the guest bedroom.

Still, he should have at least inquired if Harry needed any help once the muffled cursing started, but in his defense, Harry did have the foulest mouth on him even if he did tried his best to tune it down when Daisy was around.

The banging and clanging had been a bit more alarming, however, it was only once the smoke detector started ringing that Eggsy stopped playing and gathered Daisy in his arms, ready to bolt out of the house until Harry’s voice carried from downstairs.

“It’s okay! There’s nothing, just this f-” Harry cut himself off just in time, but Eggsy knew him well enough to know he had been on the verge of swearing. “I’ll have that off in a second, just…” There was more muffled curses from the kitchen and Eggsy exchanged a falsely exasperated look with his sister as he put her back down.

“Stay here, I’ll just go see what is taking him so long, alright?”

Daisy nodded, turning back to her court of dolls and plush toys completely unconcerned by the alarm still blaring.

The annoying ringing cut off as he made it into the kitchen, but it wasn’t so much the sight of Harry perched on a chair waving a newspaper at the smoke detector that made him stop in his tracks but rather the fact that he had walked into battlefields tidier than this room.

“Harry…?” He wasn’t really sure how to start asking what the hell had been going on. Fortunately for him, as soon as Harry made it down the chair, the man turned to him with a sheepish look, more than ready to explain.

“Eggsy, I have a confession to make; I am utter shite in the kitchen.” The dead-serious tone and Harry’s solemn expression paired with the fact they were standing in what could only be qualified as a war zone made Eggsy lose it, grateful to the fact Harry was close enough so that he could lean against him instead of falling to the dirty floor, laughing. The older man soon joined him in his hilarity, always quick to laugh at himself in the privacy of his own home.

It took a few moments before they both calmed down again, but a few chuckles still got past their lips at regular intervals and they carefully avoided to look at each other, lest they start into another fit of giggles.

“Go play with Daisy, I’ll fix us something.” He shook his head when Harry started to protest that he would at least clean up. “No I’ll do that too.” Not only he didn’t like leaving Daisy without supervision for long stretches of time, but considering Harry had never complained about tidying up after him, he could return the favor this once. “Seriously Harry, it’s fine. And anyway, you got to spend some time with her too, she adores you.”

“You’re sure? It would be quicker if I were to…”

“Harry,” his name was said with a pointed look and even if Harry Hart was far from being a push-over, Merlin could tell you that he was completely whipped by the boy who owned his heart.

“Alright, alright, I’m going.”

*

It took Eggsy a bit longer than expected to clean the kitchen, but it was closer to half an hour later than a full one when he went back upstairs, frowning when he saw that the guestroom’s door was closed. He didn’t waste time knocking, simply opening it and going in and, for the second time in the day, he stood frozen in place, this time at the sight of Harry Hart wearing a tiara.

“Harry…?” Decidedly, today was a day where he did not know how to formulate his questions.

“Ah, Eggsy, at last my Knight has come to save me,” his lover smiled in mock relief and there was a mischievous glint in his eyes that made Eggsy tense up before Harry went on, “beware of the Dragon my dear.”

Without any other warning, Daisy jumped on him roaring, trying, and mostly failing, to tickle him. He let her have her fun for a moment before riposting and soon he had a giggling little girl in his arms, his sister trying, and failing, to escape his hold. He only stopped when Harry got up and clasped his shoulder.

“Mercy for the Dragon, my Knight, I beg you. She’s only lonely and wanted friends to share a meal with.”

He stopped his tickling and readjusted his hold so he could look seriously into his sister’s eyes. “Is that true Dragon?”

“Yes,” she nodded her head eagerly, “I’m hungry, but I don’t want to eat the Princess, humans don’t taste good.” It was a close thing, but he managed not to start laughing at the way she pouted that last part.

“Hmmmm, well then, I have a meal waiting for us downstairs, if the Dragon would be so kind as to go wash her hands?”

He didn’t let her down so much as she jumped out of his arms, Harry smiling at the reaction, understanding it completely. There wasn’t much that would keep him away from Eggsy’s cooking either.

When his gaze went back to the brother though, he was met with a disbelieving grin.

“So… Princess?”

“I was informed that Knights couldn’t love other Knights, only royalty.”

Eggsy opened his mouth to protest, not understanding what could have possibly make Daisy think that until he remembered the last time Roxy had played with them. His friend hadn’t wanted to play the princess and had used the little girl’s knowledge of his brother’s special relationship with Harry to get a Knight role too, bullshitting something along the lines that a Knight would only go save a royal if he was in love with said royal.

“I gathered it was something like this,” Harry nodded after Eggsy explained.

They started making their way downstairs, knowing Daisy would find her way to them in a few minutes, the older man not making any move to take off the tiara on top of his head.

“Still, why didn’t you chose a King or at least a Queen?” Because that would have been more fitting, even if the little girl had no ways of knowing of Harry’s role as Arthur at Kingsman.

Harry looked at him with a look of mock horror, but there was something in the twist of his mouth betraying the seriousness of what he said next. “This is a tiara Eggsy, not a crown. No respecting King nor Queen would wear a tiara.”

For the third time in less than an hour, Eggsy suddenly froze where he was standing, but this time wasn’t due to surprise, but rather to the laughter he couldn’t have stopped to save his life.

He only calmed down once Daisy had made her way to them, bolting past them and starting a chant for food.

But before joining his sister at the table, he took the time to press a light kiss to Harry’s mouth.

“Ridiculous man,” was chuckled softly against his lips and their eyes met in mutual fondness before they finally heeded the calls of the roaring Dragon in their kitchen.


End file.
